grateful friday.

- a new crib from sara and her hubby to use while andrew's waits for new parts. oh yeah, he broke his crib.
- a new changing table also from sara and her hubby since andrew's is cheaper made and guess what? broke and isn't worth us working hard to fix it.
- the smell of the powder the barber uses after a hair cut - both andrew and his cousin smell terrific today.
- a fun weekend ahead.
- finding the best in things - chris' hours changed again and he'll now be home in the morning with andrew and i on the days i don't have class. atleast we'll have good breakfasts together and andrew doesn't have to go to the babysitter's as often.

when i get there i'll go jumping through the air

since i left my job a few weeks ago, the prospect of some new time at home has made me downright giddy. yes, i can finally get stuff done! i'll make homemade cookies daily and my kitchen will sparkle! my child will learn to read by 2 (i do have a few months...) and i'll knit all of us complicated nordic sweaters! (truthfully i haven't knitted a sweater and i'm too scared to try.)

the first week i was at home, chris was working from home and it put a damper on my plans. we ended up relaxing together, not getting the housework done and being kind of lazy.

and who can forget the fact that i now have homework? oh yeah, i have to fit that in too.

you see, all these moms on the internet give appearances that their lives are perfect. they get out the decorations for each new holiday in perfect timing and they would never be left hanging up too late. they make crafts timed perfectly according to their child's development and of course, the upcoming holidays or seasons. they never yell and their children never make messes. they somehow find the ability to nurse a baby through the night and then knit with the baby in their arms during the day. how is this possible? how can anyone try to attain that type of life? the truth is, we all try to attain that kind of life, but we're not perfect.

i was thinking about this after i spent the morning cleaning the other day. i looked around the house and it was still not picked up the way i'd tried. my little guy has learned how to climb and has learned how to tear things up even more than before. it doesn't help that i'd tried to have a tv-free day and put on some music for him to enjoy while he played and i cleaned - except that made him even more anxious to tear apart what i'd done.

my friend recently had this quote as her email signature - "You need both blessings and difficulties, because one without the other is neither." i read that and started to think, sometimes you need those moments where you fail so that you can actually succeed at things. i fail when i can't keep up with my toddler, but i succeed when i make sure that the house is picked up right after he goes to bed, so that chris and i can enjoy a nice evening not surrounded by clutter. i fail when i scold him a little too harshly, but i succeed when i apologize and correct him properly and he rewards me with a kiss and a hug.

life is not perfect. i'm not going to get that valentine's day wreath made and hanging on my door anytime soon. that would mean taking down my evergreen christmas wreath. and apparently i'm not ready to do that yet, either.

grateful friday

polly wanna...?, originally uploaded by sassyladybug.

i'm feeling pretty grateful today.

i'm grateful for:
God keeping my little guy safe today after a scare.
Chris coming home early from his business trip this week - we get a whole 3 days together!
my last day of work today.
some sunny weather (can spring come any sooner?)
friends and family who have me over and keep me company while chris is gone.

i am so sad since you went away.

its been a long time for me. to update everyone, 25 things about me:

1. i took a 3 hour nap today.
2. i get scared of a lot of things, like the fact that andrew has been drinking a lot more lately - i've gotten it in my head that he's sick somehow and that's why he needs more to drink. this happens on all kinds of levels. i worry a lot.
3. i rarely shave my legs. but, on the other hand, i don't need to. i barely grow any hair.
4. i hate maintenance kind of stuff - washing my face at night, putting on lotion - i perpetually wake up with mascara under my eyes and dry hands. i'm trying to change this one, though.
5. when chris is away, i don't eat much. my sister would be unhappy with me, but i
just don't take the time to get something to eat.
6. chris is away for 2 more weeks after this one is done.
7. i am trying not to be angry about all this traveling but i am because he didn't ask me first before agreeing to do it.
8. i'd rather pick him up at the airport at 3am than wait for him at home because i can't stand the anticipation. same thing for driving him there for the days he leaves - i want every last minute.
9. i struggle with disappointment because i set things up in my head about how they'll go. this is why i didn't have a very good christmas - andrew was cranky and i didn't get to buy any gifts for chris. (he picked out his own.)
10. otherwise i was given some very nice gifts.
11. truthfully i was really glad it was over.
12. my last day of work is friday.
13. i'm going back to school to finish up some classes before i can start my masters.
14. one of them is a math class and i'm secretly (not so secret anymore) loving the fact that i can use mechanical pencils.
15. i really love writing with a sharp pencil - hence the love for the mechanical pencils.
16. i can't wait for the snow to go away.
17. i didn't really make any new years resolutions, except that i vowed that i would find the time every day to do something that is good for me - like the things in #4. or taking vitamins. eating meals that are healthy and require preparation. little things.
18. i kept my new years resolution from last year which was to finish my knitting projects and make it an active hobby.
19. i tried a lot of new things with knitting and i have to say that i am proud of myself.
20. at night when i can't fall asleep, i think of things to share here, and then promptly forget them in the morning.
21. i suppose i should put a notepad on my nightstand.
22. every day that andrew does something new i get a thrill. if it feels like this forever i will be content.
23. tonight it was matching up shapes and colors without being prompted.
24. and afterwards he claps for himself.
25. tonight i told him that a new baby is going to come live in our house. a new baby boy. a yet un-named new baby boy that is growing in mama's belly. he made his monster voice, smiled and pointed to my belly.

i'm asking manda, sara and cheri to please update with things that are not mundane. tell me something new.

and try to update once in a while, so that i have reason to as well.

realized what you gotta do

all dressed up, originally uploaded by sassyladybug.

*karen, marybeth and gail at the festivities saturday night*


for the past few years, i've really found myself in the midst of the christmas season when the time came for my company holiday party. and this year, i'm realizing that i have not purchased any gifts - well, except one online purchase - but otherwise, i'm am way behind. i'm just starting to think that i want to skip the presents and give everyone hugs instead.

this week is power week - i have to get the shopping done as well as clean house and plan snacks for a few friends to come by on friday.

i guess that means no napping this week?

i don't want to close my eyes.

one of the things i've learned about andrew at this age is that i constantly feel as though i'm losing things. but, this is not me. i am not losing things. andrew is stealing things. he is hiding them on me. he has hidden stashes all throughout the house that baffle me. i took the basket of clothespins and put it in the closet high up on a shelf about two weeks ago. somehow, he still seems to show up with clothespins, even though i swept the house of them last week. and don't even get me started on that copy of Ironman, brought back to Blockbuster a month late.

but, he is growing and showing us all the new things he has learned, and so that makes up for all the missing stuff. he is learning to follow directions. he has these flash cards and he is in love with them - so much that he brings me the cards several times a day so i can repeat, once again, what a circle is and where the circles are on his body and in the room.

i can say, i didn't know being a parent would be like this. but, its pretty freaking cool.